


Ascertainments.

by bjfic_archivist



Category: Queer as Folk (US)
Genre: Canon, Humor, Romance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2007-06-15
Updated: 2007-06-15
Packaged: 2018-12-27 14:33:58
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 723
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12083067
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/bjfic_archivist/pseuds/bjfic_archivist
Summary: He's weird.





	Ascertainments.

**Author's Note:**

> Note from IrishCaelan, the archivist: this story was originally archived at [The Brian/Justin Fanfiction Archive](http://fanlore.org/wiki/Brian_Justin_Fanfiction_Archive). To preserve the archive, I began importing its works to the AO3 as an Open Doors-approved project in September 2017. I posted announcements, but may not have reached everyone. If you are (or know) this creator, please contact me using the e-mail address on [The Brian/Justin Fanfiction Archive collection profile](http://archiveofourown.org/collections/bjfic/profile).

  
Author's notes: Disclaimer: The boys aren't mine. Neither are Justin's songs.  


* * *

**Can we get connected?**

1\. He's weird. You've known that for some time now. He's not weird in the 'I love comic books, let me own a comic book store.' sense; Or in the 'I'm a Buddhist, let me be all Zen all the time and eat tofu.' sense; Or in the 'I'm a big ass nelly queen with a party planning business.' sense; Or even in the 'I was once a great accountant, but I got caught wanking off at work, which got me fired. Then, I created a porn website that people could access from work, but got busted for hiring a minor. I then became a meth addict, but eventually got myself clean' sense. (Actually, while thinking this, you start to question your own weirdness by the company you keep.)

**So we hold on and don't let go.**  

2\. He's weird because, well, first off, he's an artist. And artists are notorious weirdos. Van Gogh was an artist and didn't he cut of his ear for "art"? When Justin paints, he just has to listen to a mixed CD that only has "Southside" by Moby, "Smells Like Teen Spirit" by Nirvana and "Je T'aime Moi Non Plus" by Serge Gainsbourg. He plays that CD about fifty million times until you threaten to throw it out of the fucking window.  

**Say that you'll stay a little.**  

3\. He has a big head. It's not like you have a problem with it, it's just that you've noticed it. Sometimes, when he puts on a shirt, his head gets stuck in the hole (insert sex jokes here) and you have to help him out. 

**I wanna run through the halls of my high school.**  

4\. He likes your crooked tooth Every time you kiss, he always runs his tongue over it. Once, you made the stupid mistake of asking him why. He got all introspective and said "It shows that you're a real person." Christ.  

**With the birds I'll share this lonely view.**  

5\. He's a horrible singer. One karaoke night at Woody's, he and Daphne decided to sing. You had to sit through his horrible rendition of "Scar Tissue" by The Red Hot Chili Peppers (Daphne was his back up singer). After he received his standing ovation (that says a lot about the general population of Woody's), he decided to dedicate a song to you. "2 become 1" by The Spice Girls. Jesus. You wanted to take a spork to your ear to put yourself out of your misery.

**Drop your silver in my tambourine.**  

6\. Gus loves him. He just _loves_ his Jus'n. Once, when Gus was a baby, he peed in Justin's face. When he told you what happened, you said that you never knew he was into golden showers. He threw a shoe at your head. 

**Just think it over once or twice, what'll last the long run in this life.**

 7. He's a pig. He doesn't put anything back where it belongs and he drinks juice from the carton (you detest that with a passion). You had to get him back. You put spoiled milk in an orange juice carton and left it there. In the middle of the night, he crept into the kitchen and drank it. You didn't have sex for three days, but he learned his lesson. 

**Just one desire from a hip hop fan.**  

8\. One time, during the whole Snoop Doggy Dog "fo shizzle my nizzle" bullshit, he was on the phone with Daphne and actually said "fo shizzle." You made fun of his "ghetto" talk for weeks. He never did it again. 

  **What you want, baby I got it.**  

9. You start to realize that Justin's weirdness is intensified when he is around an equally weird person named Daphne Chanders. You love Daphne, you really do. She's been there for everything. Through proms and breakups, makeups, breakups and finally makeups. If you were straight, you'd fuck her. One day you came home and Justin was giving her a blowjob lesson. She had a huge purple dildo in her mouth. When she saw you, she took it out with a "pop", smiled, and asked Justin if she was doing it _juuust_ right. (Oh yeah, if you were straight, you'd _sooo_ fuck her.)


End file.
